[00:00:00] Rebecca: Hello, and welcome to episode 70 of the Rebecca Saunders Show. Oh my gosh, 70 zero. What a big number. And this is, I'm gonna call it an unstoppable episode here. It's a milestone episode. I have the incredible MG on the show. Thank you so much for joining me m.
[00:00:50] Em: Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to be here and it will be absolutely unstoppable. Get ready. Buckle in for the ride.
[00:00:56] Rebecca: We're ready. Now you have the nickname of Mrs. Unstoppable without, you explaining too much detail cause we've got a lot to talk about in the next half hour. Where did that name come from and what do you do and what do you do to earn it? Actually,
[00:01:10] Em: Oh, I do a lot to earn it. It's about being unstoppable as a mindset, but also in business. So I'm a marketing and mindset coach for female entrepreneurs, and Mrs. Unstoppable came about because a lot of what was coming up for my clients. My audience was that they always feel stuck. You know, they don't know what they should be doing in their marketing.
[00:01:28] They don't know how they need to stand out. They feel like they're just throwing spaghetti against the wall and nothing's sticking. And often what happens is we then stop ourselves from stepping out of our comfort zone and doing things that are going to help us from standing out because we feel like we're.
[00:01:43] So we need to be unstoppable because there's going to be failures. In fact, if you're gonna be successful in business, you're going to need to have failures. And if you're gonna move past those failures, then you need to be unstoppable. And Mrs. Unstoppable was born out of that because she became an avatar of mine, a little superhero, usually with pink here in an amazing costume, which I'm not wearing today, unfortunately, because it's in a box and I've just moved house and it's chaos.
[00:02:07] But usually I would be rocking up in a lot more color and a lot more excitement than. But Mrs. Unstoppable kind of became like, yeah, my avatar, my person who I wanna be and it helps me to show up at a certain level in my business. And it also gives the woman I work with the permission to do the same.
[00:02:24] Rebecca: I love that so much and I do love your superhero costume. I think that's pretty amazing. But in saying that, so you are talking that through in terms of the costume I'm putting on makes you feel unstoppable. That just sparked something in my brain that went. Oh, but you're putting something on in order to be something outwardly, how do you focus on that, particularly when you are working with women who may not want to dress up or, go and do some crazy stuff to stand out.
[00:02:48] Where's the guidance there when you are stepping into Mrs. Unstoppable, but also encouraging others who might not be as brave to create and live their own personal?
[00:02:58] Em: Honestly, none of my clients have gone and dressed up as a superhero, not a single one.
[00:03:02] Rebecca: You haven't got a client, you're not like making Marvel sort of movies in in the group.
[00:03:06] Em: Do that would actually be a great photo shoot if I got all the unstoppables together and we're dressed up as different superheroes. They all do get a pink, unstoppable mask when they join program, but it's not necessarily about what you're externalizing.
[00:03:19] It's what you are internalizing, but you do it in a way that works for you. I'm quite extroverted. And so that works for me, but not everyone is extroverted and I know that. So really the three questions that I get my clients to ask themselves is, what does that version of me believe? What does that version of me think?
[00:03:38] And how would that version of me like to feel? And so when you can work through those three layers, you will start to show up differently. And there will be an external aspect. you know, if you're going to an event, you do dress up, right? Because you wanna feel confident. And the way you dress and the way you present yourself can change the way you feel. But I do believe it starts from the. . And interestingly with that costume, I don't know if you've seen how high cut it is, I have my overall body hangups around my thighs and so that's what's on display there. And for me, that's a bit of exposure therapy because it helps me internally work through that while also stepping up my game in my business. but that works for me. It's not gonna work for everyone.
[00:04:22] Rebecca: Yep. I get it. Right. So for me, you've seen my, my journey over the last 12 months of just going well stuff, it, not wearing hair anymore, like the wigs can go or just do my own thing. So you've gotta be in the right position, I guess, and the right personal, part of your journey to be able to jump in and be unstoppable and be you. What was that journey like for you? Because you haven't always. Mrs. Unstoppable, what was that catalyst and what did you have to go through on your personal journey before she came out and was was of who you are?
[00:04:52] Em: Well, I could write an entire book about that. Rebecca and I have so I have a book Uncertain to Unstoppable that's a bestseller on Amazon. I'll send you the link for it afterwards. And I've written my whole life journey because it is my whole life journey because I started off with a lot of uncertainty and trauma in my early years. And that moved into a lot of personal development in my twenties when I was self-medicating and then into, working into spirituality and everything like that, which I rejected for so much of my life. And then realizing that the reason I was able to be successful in business was because I had done those.
[00:05:31] Rebecca: Mm-hmm.
[00:05:32] Em: I was able to, you know, let go of what other people think of me. And because I've been able to forgive people that have hurt me in my life, I can now show up bigger in my business. So my mindset and my marketing is better because of what I went through and how I then dealt with it through personal development. But it's been a journey and it's still an ongoing. . I've had the last few months just in maintenance mode in my business because of us moving and now I'm ready for that next growth level. I know in that phase of growth that's coming, I will need to be really mindful of my mindset and that uncertainty. That was a pattern in my life. To flip that around into Unstoppability, and I claim that as a word. It's not an the dictionary, but it will be one day.
[00:06:18] Rebecca: One day, one day. You can put it in there.
[00:06:20] Em: It's the ability to be unstoppable, which we all have, we've all had moments in our lives where we're like, yeah, I feel so unstoppable right now. And so when we can tap into that moment, we can then sprinkle it all through the rest of our lives.
[00:06:35] Rebecca: I love that so much. Right now I'm going through a, feeling like a v i p every single day. Stage of life, as in customer service around me has been a bit crappy. I won't ran on about that, but it's round What's that little thing that's gonna spark joy in my day? Whether it's buying flowers, spraying my favorite perfume, doing whatever that is. So is what you do, the little micro habits, right? That. Consistently mean you're stepping forward, there are wobbles, right? There are still wobbles along the way, and as successful as we look on the outside to everyone on the inside, there are those big, wobbly moments. What are the things that push you to the point of that wobble, you know, and what do you do to get away from that? To stay but up again?
[00:07:13] Em: I don't try and get away from it. I lean into the wobble, so I call them Valleys and peaks. and I like to use a bike riding analogy, which is kind of ironic because I didn't learn to ride a bike as a kid. I can ride a bike. Now I'm planning on doing an Ironman at the end of the year so that the bike ride is gonna be the biggest challenge Anyway, the bike riding analogy is that when you're riding a bike, Up a hill, it can be really hard work, right?
[00:07:39] And this is when you are trying to get to the peak of some kind of, you know, in your business it might be, or in your life, in your peak fitness, whatever it is, any area of your life, it's hard work. Your quads are burning. You might have to actually get off like me and push it up the hill. That's me at the moment. But by the time you get to the top, it's amazing. And you look at the view and you're like, wow, that was worth it. So it was hard work to get there, but it was worth it. But then eventually, if you wanna keep going, you're gonna have to go right? And sometimes when you've gone uphill and your legs are burning, you've got that lactic acid burn, you'll wobble down the hill, you'll fall off your bike, you'll scrape your knee, you'll land at the bottom, and you're like, oh my gosh, what am I doing here?
[00:08:16] And that's when you're in the valley. You're in the valley, and you're looking up at the hill, and it feels like it's so far away to get back up to that peak. Eventually though, you learn what you need to learn. You recover, you heal. and you go back up the next hill and the next time you go up that hill, it's easier because your quads have been strengthened.
[00:08:33] You've learned some things that you need to know in order to get up to the next peak, and the next peak's even higher. And you're like, yeah, this is amazing. But then eventually you gotta keep going. And as you keep going, you're gonna go downhill at some point. Right? And so it's kind of like the rolling hills of life or the rollercoaster of life.
[00:08:49] Insert analogy here, but. It's meant to be that way. Because if it's not that way, you are just standing still in one place and all you're gonna do is if you try and stand at the top of that mountain for too long, you're just gonna end up with storms. You're not gonna have any shelter. it's not actually great to just stand the same place. We wanna constantly change because our world is always changing. So how's that for a really long analogy?
[00:09:13] Rebecca: I love that analogy though. It's so true. Because you done the first hill and you've thought like throw down, you're like, oh, can I do it again? Like, and then you go up again and the hills get bigger and bigger and bigger as you go, which means the falls get bigger. Would you agree?
[00:09:25] Em: Yes. Yep, for for sure.
[00:09:27] Rebecca: So you're leaning into it. We are leaning into it. What are the things that you do to go through that and get back on that bike to go up the hill? Are there little things that you do? I mean, know for me, I shut off from socials and just focus on the game plan. What are the little habits that you've got in place that enable you to get back on the bike?
[00:09:45] Em: So the first thing for me is sleep, is making sure that my sleep is as good as it can be because sleep is healing. It's. It's amazing. You don't have to do anything. You just go to sleep and your body starts to heal. Your mind starts to heal. As long as you're well rested. You can generally cope better with life, but a lot of the time people will go and just go, oh, I need to go and get, ashika wander, which helps with anxiety, or I need to go and you know, like they'll go and externalize everything, whereas sleep straight up, I know if I am not doing well. Then sleep will help a lot. The second thing is space because. I'm a mum. I don't get a lot of space, but when I have a lot of things going on in my life or I feel like things are going downhill in my life or my business, if I can just find a way to carve out some space for nothing, and taking your phone away is a really good rule for that because we feel the space with our phone, right?
[00:10:39] We just constantly feel space and we don't need to. I went on a silent retreat last year and it was one of the most game changing things when I. , we feel the space with so much crap. We feel the space with talking all the time. We just talk like, you know, you're out somewhere and you need to someone, you talk to them instead of just like, why can't we just be in silence sometimes?
[00:10:59] So I will consciously say to my husband, look I'm in need of some space. What can I do to make that happen? And maybe it's on the weekend, it was booking in some breath work because that was an opportunity for me to be away by myself, one-to-one with someone guiding me through some breath work. And it's also a matter of trusting what you need to put in that space, like whether it's breath work, whether it's going to the beach. And learning to trust yourself, which isn't easier than done, like that in itself could be an entire series of podcast episodes to go, I know what I need right now, and choosing to do that thing.
[00:11:34] Rebecca: I have Tech free weekends. when I started instigating that, like the panicked phone calls and panicked messages back on, on my phone of like, where have you been? You haven't responded. I'm like, no, no. And I'm still here. Like I'm just, if you haven't booked in time with. Then, I'm not available on the weekends and I just need that space. And it took time to train my friends and family to understand that what I was doing. You know? What, what are the things within your community that you're building now within the Unstoppables that are coming up as parts of conversations of the people around me don't get it.
[00:12:06] I'm trying to put these things in place and I'm constantly being tested on it. What, the things that are coming up and how are you guiding them? Through it
[00:12:14] Em: I think a lot of what comes up is as women particularly, we have this ingrained people pleasers, bone , we think we need to make everyone happy. And once we can recognize that as a part of us, and we have an awareness of it. You can start to choose to change it if you want to. If you realize it's not working for you you, can choose to change it. So one of the things that I share with my community is that difficult conversations around these boundaries can actually make life easier for everyone. , because what happens if you don't have those difficult conversations? What feels quote unquote difficult conversations is people make their own assumptions over why you are not available, and their assumptions will probably be wrong.
[00:12:59] Their assumption will be like, she doesn't like me, she doesn't wanna spend in time with me. She's selfish, she, whatever it is, they'll make their assumptions and again, their assumption. Have nothing to do with you. It's a reflection of them. But if you don't want people to have their assumptions, you need to have that difficult conversation to start with and communicate clearly. What your expectations are. If people aren't unhappy with that, that's on them. But at least you have shared that and there's less likely for there to be any drama around it because you've been really clear about it. And as long as you share those conversations with love and explain why this is going to be good for your relationship, because when you've got the space to look after yourself, you are gonna show up better as a sister or a friend or whatever it may be.
[00:13:47] That conversation can actually connect you at a deeper level as well. It gives them permission to do the same. So I think it's important to be able to overcome that hurdle of going, oh, I don't want to, you know, be that person to say, actually, I'm not available on the weekends. I love that you do that.
[00:14:05] Rebecca: Thank you. Thank you. And I love that you're encouraging people to have those bigger conversations with the friends and family around them. Are you also having conversations with your kids, bringing them into that way of thinking and doing? And how do you navigate that with, children and, the way that. I don't have kids, but I would assume that, you know, if you're living life in a different way, which is what we do as entrepreneurs and business owners and rule breakers, we'll get to that in a minute. But, you're bringing children up in a completely different way to what would be considered the norm. And conversations like that must happen at school. What are the things that sort of come up there in the kid space that you've gotta navigate when you're putting those boundaries in and, creating that space and living life, differe.
[00:14:46] Em: I actually let my kids help me with my own boundaries because I can be the worst for it myself. In terms of sometimes in the evening, I end up on my phone when I'm around my kids and I actually give them permission to say, mum, you're on your phone. Because in the past I would say, oh, mommy's just doing some work. And then I realized, wait, this is encroaching on the boundary that I had. With my family, when I'm at work, I'm at work and I have a rule about them not being in my office. So they're like when you're in your office, that's when you do your work. So mom, you're on your phone. And I'm like, oh, thank you.
[00:15:19] And so I actually thank them and sometimes that's hard because I might literally be in the middle of writing a response on Instagram. I'm like, No, this is me showing them the respect that we have in this family in terms of our boundaries. And so it's actually probably more of a challenge for me than anything. But I know that it's worthwhile because I want them to see that they can create their own life. But it's hard when you work from home, right? So you've gotta be able to show them how you create those boundaries. And I think. For my children, my husband works in education, so they see him do, you know, like the normal kind of workplace routine.
[00:15:55] For me, it's very different and they get to see that. Polar opposite, really the, polarity. And we talk a lot about, the choices that they have when they grow up because they can see that polarity right in front of them. And the, pros and cons to those things. So you can see like, Daddy gets school holidays and he, doesn't actually take a lot of the school holidays off, but he still gets that time off and he still gets paid when Mummy is working. That's how she gets paid at the moment. You know, let's, we'll can get into passive income and all that kind of thing as well, but it's just, they get to see the variety and I think that's been really powerful for them so far and will be even more powerful as they get older because they're still in primary school. It's planting seeds at this.
[00:16:41] Rebecca: Yeah. I love that. And I cannot wait to pick that conversation up when they're a few years older, right. started to have those conversations. Cuz I think that could be a really interesting. To deep dive into, but I love that you bring them in as part of the conversation and encourage that because a lot of people wouldn't. So, you know, if you're listening in the big takeaways, encourage them, have the conversations family-wise. Now, in terms of rule breaking, you're a self confessed rule breaker. What are the three. Rules per se, the biggest three rules that you've broken and why, and what's the benefit of breaking them been for you?
[00:17:15] Em: Okay, so I'll talk about one from a business perspective first, and the first one is showing up the way people expect you to show up in terms of how you should dress to be profess. That's probably the first one. You know, obviously my Mrs. Unstoppable outfit is not what you would consider a professional outfit you wouldn't see many people go to a networking event wearing something like that. So that's probably one of the first rules I've broken. And the why that's important is because it stands. Is because it has allowed me to differentiate and be unique compared to others and also really step into, that Miss is unstoppable and who I wanna be.
[00:17:57] So it's had the, that benefit of building me in terms of my own confidence and motivation, as well as building my brand. The second thing that I have done to break a rule was when I was was asked to speak at a Social club Spotlight event with Brook Villa, and they have a very standard structure the way that they do it. And two minutes before going on stage, I said to the sound guy, Hey, I want to change the song that we've got because I feel like I could tell the crowd I was the last speaker I could tell the crowd was like starting to fall asleep in their seats. I was like, this is not happening on my watch. So I said, change the song.
[00:18:37] And then when it started, I said, turn it up. And he just looked at me and he didn't have time to think about it. He was like, okay, we're turning it up, And so I got everyone to stand up. Brooke's standing at the front of the room going, what's going on? Like, I don't understand what's happening here. I got everyone to stand up and shake it out. It was Taylor Swift, shake it off. And we was shaking it out dancing and I've got this brilliant photo of her. looking at me like this, what are we doing, ? And that was, I guess, a bit of a, rule that I broke without asking permission, which I don't often do in those situations. But I knew she would be okay with it.
[00:19:10] And at the end, so many people came up to me and said, thank you so much for doing that, because we really needed that. And it was memorable. Again, it was like, no one's gonna forget me after I did so. like that. So that's two examples. And now I feel like I've gotta have like a third one that's equally as good. And I'm going, oh, what is there? What is there? Okay I'll share another one of a time where I broke a rule on stage. I mean, it's not really breaking a rule, but it's definitely doing something that people don't do.
[00:19:38] Rebecca: Yeah. Oh no, you, I say break rules. It's like going against the norm, right? It's people going, oh, okay. Like that's,
[00:19:47] Em: Yeah, it's going against the norm. Breaking rules can just sound like breaking the law. Which we won't get into on this episode. I was on stage on a panel. And I'm sure you know, if you've been in a panel, which I'm sure you have been, you can get lost in the sea of people on the panel and it's hard to be memorable unless you, you do something that is memorable.
[00:20:07] So I was thinking the whole drive up to the city, which was four and a half hour drive, what can I do to be memorable on stage this time? And I decided to, So I'm not a rapper. I'm not a singer, but I am a bit of a closet gangster. I decided that I was going to wrap a response to one of the questions cause I knew what the questions were gonna be and I can't remember what the question was. Now it's just lost from my mind. But I just, made the decision. I'm gonna wrap my response. And I did, and I was shaking. My hand was sweaty like I kind of lost my words at one point, but literally got the biggest round of applause afterwards.
[00:20:47] And again, it's something that people remember. I've been asked since then. This was two years ago. I've been asked since then. Every time I go on stage, oh, are you gonna wrap this time? I'm like, oh my God.
[00:20:57] Rebecca: No, I had four and a half hours in the car to play on that. Like it's not just off the cuff.
[00:21:02] Em: No. Exactly. So it became something that people were expecting and I was like, oh, I don't wanna be expected to do that every time. But again, it broke the standard and allowed me to stand out in front of other people and of. All of these things are quite extroverted. That's because I'm extroverted in nature. But they stand out and that's what I'm all about in the way that I market my business.
[00:21:27] Rebecca: You're standing out, you are ensuring your business is standing out. You're doing things differently. Of all those three examples, did you have any negative repercussions?
[00:21:36] Em: Oh, that's a good question. I don't think so. The thing is I believe the word negative is like a perception. You know, and if there was anything I either didn't notice or I didn't even see it as negative.
[00:21:49] Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah, that's actually what I wanted to hear back, right? because we get so caught up in what other people will think, and it'll be deemed negative that we don't do it, or there'll be someone that says something horrible. I know that when I put my. whole hair free, new personal, this is me out into the world.
[00:22:05] I shared it online and changed everything, all the photos on my website, socials, the whole thing, and then closed my laptop. I'm like, yeah, now it's out there. Don't have to look at it. But there's been no repercussions to that in a negative way. And so, you know, we've talked this episode about doing things differently and, you know, breaking the norms, breaking the rules. More often than not, there's not gonna be any dramatically negative or bad repercussions for doing that.
[00:22:30] Em: I actually think that that's one of the biggest fears, of entrepreneurs, particularly women as well. We really worry about what people are gonna think of us. I have four questions that I ask. You want me to share those with your audience?
[00:22:42] Rebecca: Yes.
[00:22:43] Em: So the first one is, what's the worst that can happen? Right. And usually that's just someone will think badly of me or I'll get a negative review or, you know, da da da da da. Something like that. It's usually to do with other. The second question is, what can you do to prevent the worst from happening? So, is there something you can do to prevent it? There might not be anything, but you know, what can you do to prevent it so that you've kind of got a bit of a to-do list to go, okay, well these are the things I'm gonna do as a preventative measure.
[00:23:09] The third question is what you can do if the worst happens. So that becomes like your backup plan. So say you get a comment on the post that you share, or someone says something to you that's, that's negative. Okay, what can you do if that happens? How do you respond? So then you know, before you do it, you've got a backup plan.
[00:23:24] And the last question is, what's the best that can happen? Because quite often the worst that can happen is that the best doesn't. And when we realize that we are missing out on the best because we are not just taking a chance because of this tiny, little possible worst that may not even happen. It's like, duh, of course I'm gonna do it now.
[00:23:45] Rebecca: Yeah. Oh, I love that. And what a strong wrap up to the episode. , oh my gosh. There's four questions. We'll make sure we pop them in the show notes so that you can write them on Post-Its and have them on the mirror in front of you when you're talking yourself into doing something a little bit different and a little bit, out there.
[00:24:00] Em, I know that you have a beautiful community of unstoppable people, and I know that there are people listening that are gonna wanna find out more and also come and have more of your energy, cuz you give a lot on social media in the same way that you've shared a lot here. , where can people find you and what can they get from you in your world?
[00:24:18] Em: You can find me on Instagram definitely is my social poison of choice, and that's at the real underscore mg. I'm sure you can put a link in the show notes for that. And if you wanna check out the unstoppables, that's my hybrid group, one-to-one coaching program for female entrepreneurs who wanna be unstoppable in. That will be the wheel link for that in the Instagram link bio as well. Unless I give one to you and you can pop that in there as well. You can go and check it out.
[00:24:43] Rebecca: We'll put all the links in the bio, and in the show notes. So, thank you so much for coming on the show. We have had the best half an hour. we could have dived into a lot more things, but we'll save those for another episode, another time. Thank you so much for coming on the show.
[00:24:57] Em: Amazing. Thank you so much for having me.
